Five Years

Around this time five years ago I was in the lobby of the Louvre, having a breakdown. I was jet-lagged, starving and ached for my baby. Not many people have a angry whisper fight with their new husband amongst Roman antiquities on their honeymoon. I don't remember what I was angry at you for, just that I was angry. Angry that we were fighting in Paris on our honeymoon. Because thats not what you're supposed to do. Honeymooners don't fight. Don't ask me about the logic there (we're fighting because I'm mad that we're fighting). I don't remember how we resolved it. I held onto my shame about that fight for awhile. I would never admit to anyone that our honeymoon was anything other than charming, lovely and romantic. I would never admit I was on edge, cranky and sad. But the truth is, it was charming, lovely and romantic. Stumbling upon an open air market, holding your hand at the top of the Eiffel tower while you begged to go back down, meeting the couple from Georgia in a graveyard, the same Goldfrapp song on the tv all week, gray skies and wet leaves. And when I think about the obstacles in our way of enjoying that week, its a little bit amazing to me. We never got used to the time change. We'd never left our baby boy longer than one night before. We had no money for good food. We knew two words in French. And if I want to get really philosophical and cheesy about it, that week is a good metaphor for our what our life together has been. Its been charming, lovely, and romantic. And we've been on edge, cranky and sad.

We've had so many "obstacles" in our life that could have gotten in the way of enjoying it. But its all been amazing. Because I'm with you. Because we duck under that wave hand in hand and come up, gasping for breath, laughing and ready for the next one.

Happy Anniversary babe, I love you.

The Bear Researchers

Last week when I asked what she was doing Parker told me she was "killing bears" Slightly alarmed, I asked her why, to which she replied,

"We're just killing dem and putting dem in a cage so the Mama bears don't kill them."*

"You're killing the bears, so that the other bears don't kill them?" I clarified.

"Yes."

"Okay then."

So today when the kids started loading up to kill some more bears, I told them that instead of killing bears to save them from being killed, why didn't they use tranquilizer guns to put them to sleep? Scientists do that, I explained. To see how big they are, and to track them, and give them medicine if they need it. Then the sleeping medicine wears off and they wake up and go back to the forest. The kids latched onto that idea and have been "in the forest" researching all morning. In fact, I was busy cleaning and emailing, so I had nothing to do with any of this:

Here's their computer (an old DVD player that no longer works). The guns are also hooked up to the camera, and go off when a bear passes by.

This is their telescope/big gun for seeing bears that are far away

Here's Parker (and I quote) "writing notes about the bears"

Fin is completing his "check marks" while Parker mans the computer cam

Not sure what the safety gear is for, but you have to admit it does make them look pretty official. Later Fin put on some suspenders too, which really completed the outfit. Before I put them down for nap they were bringing books out to put in their "forest school" so it seems like this is a long research assignment...

*hey Gammie! Thanks for showing us that awesome clip of the tiny baby bear clinging to a tree for dear life while the voiceover contemplates whether or not the other Mama bear is going to kill and eat it! ;)