Apparently...

This is what happens while I'm at work:

Conversations with a three year old

"Mom, this helicopter is a darn helicopter."

"What do you mean its a darn helicopter?"

"It's just not working. Darn helicopter."

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"Are you going to go with Dad to get those shoes for Jessi's wedding?"

"Yeah, I fink I'm just gonna get those heaby ones."

"Fin, I already told you they are waaaay too heavy. They'll hurt your feet."

"Yeah, but I fink it'll be fine. I fink I have pretty big muscles in my feet and it'd be fine."

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I put a Nina Simone cd in the car. A sigh comes from the back seat.

"Ugh. I don't wanna wisten to Mommy music. I want to wisten to cool guy music!"

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Fin is convinced I did not make his cinnamon toast exactly the same way Daddy did (even though it was). I'm frustrated to no end, because we have to leave for preschool and he hasn't eaten anything. He says something naughty and I say,

"Fin, you don't need to talk to me like that. If you keep talking like that I'm going to have to put you in time out."

"No Mommy. I'm mad at you. You're mad at me. Its just what's happening."

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"Momma, I want to go to Tarbuks and get special milk."

"I know buddy, but Sissy needs to go home and take a nap."

"No she doesn't!"

"Yeah, Fin, she does, look she's already falling asleep."

"But I don't want her to fall asleep!! I WUUUVVV HER!!"

Seriously...

Can anyone else name a child who would squeal with joy at the mention of broccoli, and then carefully clutch said broccoli to her chest, slowly picking florets off and cooing, "baaabbyy" happily munching as we shop?  Would any other child cry when she had to give it to the cashier to ring up?  Does anyone else have to hide the fruit bowl or risk every single piece of fruit in said bowl to have tiny bites taken out of it?

I'm just saying.  Girl likes her veggies and fruit.

BeetleMania

So I'm just curious, we've discussed this at length at work, but is everyone else noticing the alarming amount of stink bugs out and about?!  I feel like I've seen two in my whole life, and now I have to "evict" at least one or two every time I go to work.(I can't bear to kill them, as the sight/sound of killing bugs is up in my top three things that absolutely horrifies me, right before clowns and after stepping on a snail)  Last weekend as I attempted to shoo one outside a seven year old boy asked what I was doing.  I told him I was trying to get the bug out, and he puts his hand up and says, "I'll take care of it." and proceeds to punt the bug half way across the mall.  My hero.

 Is a plague of stink bugs a sign of the apocalypse?

weekend update

We were busy busy lazy bees all weekend.

Worked Friday night and Saturday, but was rescued early from work on Saturday by the sisters (woo-hoo!)  Scored some perfect fitting jeans for $12.50 and then it was on home to rest up for the big bach-o-lerette party.  Got some snuggle time in with the beans, tucked them in and was off to Jessi's house to meet the gals.  The plan was to get fabolous, then go to the Edison Bar in LA, get tipsy, embarrass Jessi and come home tuckered out.  In real life we got fabulous, drove to LA, got told one of us couldn't get in (dress code) then spent two hours fighting LA traffic trying to find somewhere to go.  Ended up grabbing chips, beef jerky and red bull at 7-11 and heading home.  Longest trip to a 7-11 ever.  But the desperateness of the situation only made us giddy, and we ended up laughing so hard Jessi almost had Red Bull coming out her nose, so it wasn't a total loss.  And now we have an excuse to go out again.  Came home at 2:30 in the morning fully expecting a sleeping house, only to be given a small coronary by opening my front door to find Parker twirling her hair, saying "Hi Mammmmaaa."  like it was three in the afternoon.  Guess that babygate needs to go back up.  Josh and I were trying to decide if she heard the car horn when I locked the doors and then came down, or if she makes nightly tours of the house and quietly tucks herself back in.  I seriously wouldn't put it past her.

Sunday was spent battling the oppresive heat.  Spent some time at the pool, spent some time napping, and then spent some time at Petsmart, falling in love with kitties we can't have.  Once the sun started to go down a little bit we decided to head out to Disneyland, as the Finster was desperate for some Pirates of the Can-beanen action.  Our timing was perfect because there was hardly anyone there, and we made it on to quite a few rides, including one of Fin and mines favorites, the Ferris Wheel.  For those of you who are not aquainted with this beauty, it is a GIANT ferris wheel, and not only is giant, but 2/3 of the carts are on rails, so that when you come up the sides, or down the sides, the cart swings way out and  back in.  Since we were there by ourselves, and Parker likes the ride too, Josh was kind of forced to ride.  He's never been on it, as he is "kind of" (translation deathly) afraid of heights.  This led to my favorite moment of the weekend by far, and he hates me for doing this, but I just can't let this just sit on our computer.  See what a great dad he is:

I only wish our digital camera took longer videos so you could hear him yell over and over, "NO!  SERIOUSLY, WHAT WAS THAT SOUND??!!"

Conversations

Dead silence in the car on the way to preschool. Nobody is talking about anything. Suddenly Fin says,

"Mom? Do butterflies have heads?"

Another car ride

"Mom, what's under that hill?"

"Dirt and rocks"

"But what's under that?"

"Umm more dirt and rocks"

"But what's under that?"

"Magma."

Then I had to explain, magma, and lava, and volcanoes, you get the idea. Upon hearing about volcanoes, Fin exclaims,

"Mom we should see if they have those in this world!"

"They do Fin, there are a lot of them actually."

"Yeah, we should see if they have them"

"I'm telling you, they do!"

"Yeah, we should find out."

I can't win.

Parker has come up with a new dance for slow songs. She puts her hands in the air, tilts her head back, eyes half closed and does very slow circles with her arms. Its very girl covered in mud at Woodstock, and all her own creation.

Parker is sitting on the counter while I get her a cup of milk. When I open the cupboard it creaks, making a noise sort of like a fart. She crinkles her nose and exclaims, "Ewwww! Stinky!" and points at me.

Josh and I are having a heated "discussion." He says, "I didn't say that!" Fin walks in from the next room, not even looking at us and says, "Yes you did Dad." and continues on his way. Argument was over.

Its seven in the morning and Fin wants to go outside to ride his bike. I say, why don't we watch one Miss Spider show, and then go outside (this buys me a half hour).

"Ohh Mama, that's a wonderful idea!"

I'm folding laundry when Parker picks up one of Fin's shirts. "Pippin!" she exclaims (what she calls Griffin), and hands the shirt to me. "On? on?" so I put it on her, and she walks away looking at it, saying "Pippin, pippin." wistfully. She loves her brother so.

Be Prepared...

To take me seriously.  I am the owner of a brand new real life ticky tock, cogs and wheels gold women's watch.  No digital here.  It does not get more serious then that my friends.  If I get a power suit you're all in trouble...

Thanks Mom and Dad!

I would like to thank God, and my mom, and all the little people...

Parker and I attended a mother daughter luncheon with my mom, and the majority of the females in my family.  There was a speaker, who spoke for a good hour or so.  In anticipation of this I had brought crayons for Parker to color with.  She never really touched them preferring instead to drink an entire pitcher of lemonade by taking a sip, giving me a sip, then giving Gammie a sip.  The fun part was that she shoved the cup in your general direction and started pouring, so my mom and I had to duck our heads and literally catch the lemonade as it poured out.  Then Parker would take a napkin and wipe our faces for us ("mess.  mess." she would tsk tsk).  When she got bored with that she preceded to decapitate all the frogs on our name tags, and managed to looked shocked and appalled every time she did it.  *pulls head off frog* "Oh! Uh-oh!"  deep frown, brow furrowed "Whaa happened?!"  Every once in awhile she'd pick up a crayon and doodle.  But she managed to make it all the way through the talk without once trying to get down, or making a fuss whatsoever.  The other family at our table was smitten with her as soon as we sat down (who could resist those golden curls and blue eyes?), but as we left the mom of the group gave me a compliment equal to winning a parenting Oscar:

 "I just have to tell you, you have the best behaved little girl."   

"Yeah,"  I said, "She's a good girl."

Its days like that that make you completely forget the mornings she cried for ten minutes because you dared to make her wear pants.  

Trike-A-Thon 2008

Fin had his school's fundraising "trike-a-thon" last week, and it was a huge success.  No word yet on how much money was raised, but the kids all had a blast.  Josh and I were both able to attend and help out.  We counted laps for all the kids and cheered them on.  It was hysterical to see how differently each kid reacted to the task at hand.  Some where intensely motivated to make as many laps as possible, cutting across the middle should the other kids get in their way.  One of the boys I was counting laps for took all the turns on two wheels, another would not even crack a smile when he got to us, just looked at me for his lap count, gave a little nod, and kept going.  Others, like Griffin, were just fine making laps, but were more interested in what was going on with us spectators, and the balloon decorations, and hey, is that a drinking fountain...  Fin probably would have made a few more laps if he didn't veer off course whenever he got near the spectators because he was so busy trying to let every single person there know that he had a Diego tricycle at home, just like this one, 'cept it has Diego, hey Mrs.Bradley, I hab a Diego bicycle at home...  By coincidence we ran into one of Fin's preschool friends the next day and his mom asked me, "Oh, did you help out at the trike-a-thon?"  "Yeah, my husband and I both did."  "Yeah, Paul has not stopped talking about Griffin and Griffin's Mommy.  I didn't go, because he never rides the bikes, so I thought, Oh, well, he's not going to ride, so I won't bother.  Then I see that slip of paper that said he did 13 laps, and I said Paul!  I didn't know you were going to ride, I'm sorry I wasn't there sweetie.  To which he replied, It's okay Mommy, I didn't need you. Griffin's mommy was there to cheer me on."   Oh how easily we are replaced!

Thanks so much to everyone who donated, it really does go to a great school, and a great program!